Apr 14, 2012

Structure is Balance

I have been thinking a lot about this trip we took to Bear Lake last year and how much I am looking forward to this year's summer. But perhaps even more profound are my thoughts about balance in my life. Anyone been 8 months pregnant and trying to paddle a skinny canoe? It's not easy my friends, not easy. Everything is wobbly at first and it may take a couple tips in the lake before you get it all worked out. Just make sure you have your suit on before trying to clamber in. That is something I learned the hard way. 

Now I am balancing work from home, church responsibilities, and family. Often I find myself asking 227 times a day, "Is this worth it?" There is so much hassle involved and I am an unorganized wreck. I find myself playing with my baby instead of working when I should. I find myself running to the fridge for snacks, hanging on the door hinge, pretending to screen the contents while in fact I am just delaying. I even stoop as low as blogging instead of writing my freelance jobs. I know, it is terrible. 

So now I am turning over a new leaf. I am getting back into my collegiate mentality.When I was at school everything happened on a fairly regular schedule. Work, school, homework. gym, and me time. It was all mapped out in Google Calendar so I knew when I was supposed to be where and what I was supposed to be doing. This didn't leave much room for spontaneity, but that was alright. I yearn for this kind of structure, and that is strange coming from me. Don't get me wrong, I loved the freedom that came once I graduated. It was finally over and I had time to myself again. Time for T.V., fun, movies, and shopping. Time for playing, working out, and adventures. I loved all that extra time, but now it too is feeling like a hassle. 

So here is the game plan:
Write 5 articles every day except Sunday.
Go to the gym 3 times a week (even if it means 5:45 am spin, ick!)
2 loads of laundry a week
4 loads of dishes a week
Tidy up 1 room a day
Blog til my heart's content
1 creative project a week

I think establishing a routine is important for me. I am so used to having a routine. To some "structure" might sound rigid and confining, but to me it sounds like home. I am so used to having a long list of things to do. High School List: swimming, school, swimming, homework, family, church (rinse and repeat).  College List: work, school, homework, church, gym, job, family (eat and repeat). When those lists were gone my mind went berserk. Well, more like it turned to goop and now I feel like I am not a fully functioning machine like I used to be. 

That is why now is the time to batten down the hatches and get to work momma! You can do this! No more pregnant lady wobbling around in that canoe. You can find balance, you can be strong, and you can get to where you are going. 

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