Nov 30, 2016

Just Say No to Humbug!

So it is finally here, the season of Holidays. Only this time I am not getting excited. Nope. No little tickle in my stomach or twinkle in my eyes. No matter how much I try to get in the spirit, I just can't muster it this year. What is going on? Well nothing. Nothing is happening. I am on pause. And that is a bit of the problem.

Ever since we started the whole home building process I feel like my life is on pause. I can't really buy, or build, or make because I am saving it for our new house. So what can I do? Not much besides wait. And waiting for permits was already completely exhausting. No word, no timeline, no start date. Not having anything to go on made it feel like we would never have a home. They said four to eight weeks for permits, and of course it took the full eight weeks--almost to the day. Then it happened! We had our permit and construction appointment. We went over the blueprints and I felt it--that excited, happy feeling I thought I had forgotten how to feel.

We would have the meeting just in time to pour concrete before it got too cold. Yipee! We walked through the newly completed show homes and the spec home that is similar to ours. It was thrilling and, dare I say, joyous. Finally moving forward! We walked over and just stared at our lot. It was beautiful to me again. A beautiful hole. A big, beautiful hole because they had to dig down past the peat moss and refill it with engineered dirt that wouldn't expand and contact with moisture. It was really happening! But alas, it was not meant to be. We still did not have concrete and it was coming up on Thanksgiving with cold, winter weather right behind it. Not ideal concrete pouring weather. The day we drove home from our St. George vacation it snowed, and snowed, and snowed. And with each flake I knew it would be even more time before they could pour concrete.

So now, it is approaching Christmas and still no concrete. I walk through the stores, stocked full of warm and cheerful home decorations, and I sink. Bah humbug! I do not want to buy decorations just for an apartment where nothing works and nothing fits. Our apartment--blech. I am so sick of it. There is absolutely no room for anything more in there  anyway. And even if there was, I don't want to spend money on things I will use for just one year and never want to see again. For a hot second I thought I would be really picky, and only choose the things I would want to take with me to the new house. But honestly, all that did was make me want to BE in the new house even more. So I'm saying no this year. No to the decorating. No to the tree. No to the swags, and garlands, and silver sleigh bells. No to the tinsel, and trimmings, and lawn ornaments. No to all the things. Not this year.

Instead I have decided to take myself off of pause and say yes to the experiences. Yes to snowmen, sledding, and bundling up to walk the streets. Yes to baking cookies, and reading books, and writing letters. Yes to taking all the pictures of my family. Yes to games with family. Yes to driving around town to see the lights. Yes to sipping hot chocolate in front of our favorite Holiday movies. Yes to reading about the Savior and remembering the reason for the season. I don't need a tree, or ornaments, or lights, or our new house to get me in the spirit. I just need my family and the Savior.

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