Dentist Much?

Lately I have been writing a lot of freelance blog articles on dentistry, too many for comfort, and now know more about teeth than any non-dentally employed person should.

• Did you know 73 percent of Americans would rather grocery shop than floss?
• Did you know the earliest dental implants discovered were seashells grafted to an ancient Mayan jawbone?
• Did you know George Washington had dentures made from hippopotamus teeth and not wood?

See what I mean, not exactly things any sane person would like to know about teeth. I have read countless articles about proper brushing, flossing, and mouth-washing. I know the top seven best and worst foods for your teeth. I know that a dental implant is an artificial tooth root made for titanium that grafts with the bone, which was in fact discovered accidentally when a telescope fused to the skeleton of a dead rabbit. As you can imagine, this fascinating information can change a person.

Gone are my days of avoiding dental floss. No longer do I sleep without my orange, glow in the dark retainer. Even my son is learning how to become a professional cavity fighter early. Fortunately for me, all of this writing has paid off. Not because I am making loads of money, heaven knows I am not, but because I now care about teeth more than ever before.

Just the other day a visit to the dentist allotted me one more victory: London 1. Dental Decay 0. That is right, it is only the third time I have ever visited the dentist in my entire life and actually been told I did not have any cavities. I attribute this to my knowledge based dental care. In fact, I think I brush entirely too much now that I stay at home.

I brush a lot, in fact I could likely be diagnosed with a clinical case of OCB, (obsessive, compulsive brushing). I brush morning and night, I brush after every meal, after every snack, and sometimes after just a taste of something. Have you ever had anyone tell you that tooth brushing is a problem for them? Perhaps in that context it was a lack. For me it is an overage, a problem of surplus. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing, too much tooth brushing in my case.

Just the other day I stuck a sticky note and pen in the bathroom to count how many times I used the toothbrush. 11! I brushed my teeth 11 times throughout the day.Why would anyone need to brush that many times? Well, let me tell you, despite the fact that I know all about teeth and calculus (not the math course, though just as fascinating) I am still a sucker for sweets. I snack a lot, so I have to brush a lot. Bottom line.

While I write about the dangers of sugar and the damaging affects of acid producing bacteria that can attack teeth for twenty minutes at a time, I enjoy a piece of chocolate silk pie. Seems a bit counter-intuitive, no? Alas, I have not the willpower for change. Instead I work my tail off at spin class and then brush my teeth, so I can continue to be a hypocrite writer of tooth tales by day and an honest to goodness blogger by night. It is a tangled web, or perhaps more like a long hair trapped in the 2,100 bristles of your toothbrush. (Yes, that is a sly reference to my continued post baby hair drama already mentioned here).

I must get back to the daily grind, but luckily my teeth will be saved because I now have a new night guard. Just one more nerdy thing about me you likely didn't need to know.