I crack up every time EV eats blueberries. She used to love them as a baby and would eat them whole without complaint. But now she is growing a more delicate palate and has started refusing certain foods. Tomatoes make the top of the "ick" list with full on refusal, cheese is the top of the "ummmm" list, and now blueberries fall somewhere between the two. She pops one in her mouth and mushes it around. Then she slides out the skins with her tongue, pinches them between her little finger and thumb, and tosses them on the floor for the dog. The dog then picks up each skin with her tongue, then spits it back out as well. Over and over until her little fist-full of blueberries is diminished and there is a pile of blueberry skins on the floor.
Now, I could get ridiculously mad about this. I could rant and rage every time I step on a slimy blueberry skin. I could stop giving her blueberries. But I just don't have the energy for that. I not only allow her odd eating routine, but also sit there and laugh and smile while she does it. Because I adore her--the place she is at right now. And I don't want to forget it.
I spend much of my time looking forward to what is coming next. "I'll be happier when..." and then every happiness gets pushed off. This is especially true lately, since we are putting our house up for sale, moving out, and planning to build. I keep thinking I will be happier, kinder, sweeter, better--just as soon as we are settled into our apartment. Then it hit me...that is such a depressing way to live.
Moving is a big change, and one of the toughest things. As I pack away the books on my shelves my heart breaks a little. It is so hard to not know where we will be in a few weeks, where we will live and what we will be doing. It also feels a little backward, selling our house to go and live in an apartment for a year. I get stuck in a melancholy cloud. But the blueberries gave me a way out.
For ten minutes every day, at snack time, I can sit with my little girl at the table and just marvel and laugh. I soak in all that we are right now, and for the most part it is pretty good stuff.