I did it, another bloggy meet up! This one was a gathering of bloggers with a connection to BYU and though I was an alumni I still had fun talking to many of the girls in attendance. Read more about it here. Unfortunately I did not even take my own advice from the last meet up, so my awkwardness and shy insanity were still a bit of a problem. Luckily the crowd was smaller, so less people were witness to my social ineptitude. It was fun to see a handful of people I have met on previous occasion as well as meet some new ones. I was sad to have to leave early, but baby boy was giving my Superman a run for his money. Needless to say, ducking out was a necessity but no fun at all. I was learning a lot from some of the more skilled and experienced bloggers and still had many a question I wanted to ask. Alas, the perils of motherhood and I would not change it for the world.
There was one epiphany I had that night however, that I want to make note of. A common question both asked of me and by me was this: "What kind of blogger are you?" You would think I would know the answer to this question. You would think I wasn't intimated by it. You would THINK I have answered it many times before. Well news flash, I did not, I was extremely, and I have not. So when I was asked by several attendees I suddenly suffered symptoms of the "job interview sweats." If you have ever have a job interview you will know what I am talking about. It is the moment in the conversation where things turn from the cordial and impersonal to the serious. I have only had one job interview in my life and I thought I was done with this disease. Apparently not!
So the let's get down to business, what kind of blogger are you question suddenly made me feel inadequate, much like an impostor. It was as if I had beefed up my resume and suddenly realized I was in way over my head on a job interview. That is how it felt. Was the reason for it? Of course not. My survey of the room revealed to me two of the most common types of bloggers in attendance were: 1. fashion and 2. I write about anything/my life.
Question: So why, when I was asked this question, did it throw me for a loop?
Answer: Because I want my blog to matter.
What I didn't realize was who it should matter to. Most importantly this blog answers to me and for a brief moment in a room overcrowded with beautiful faces, photographers, creators, and writers I lost sight of that.
For the last couple of years I have been following/secretly spying on all types of bloggers. The ones I love most have a lot of pictures (mostly of clothes) and content that is real, that connects with me in some way. Desperately I wanted to be one of these people. Someone who was connecting, at some level, with thousands of followers. I was not, and that was why I was intimidated by this question. I still have not answered the question, I know. But I am about to.
When this blog started I wanted to make a personal record of all the books I was churning through. I tried writing out something similar in long hand, but it quickly began to feel too much like homework. So I stated this personal blog and tried to write about books. I was not successful. So then what? Well, Kendi, a name known by many a blogger, had been doing a 30 for 30 challenge. I joined in. I loved it. I wanted to be a fashion blogger! That didn't even last the 30 days. So here we are, about a year and a baby later. Now what kind of blogger am I. Well, I do not know exactly, even after all this time. So I am going to change that.
I want to get back in to writing, serious, honest to goodness writing. English has always been a passion of mine and it took a failure to be excepted into the communications program to realize it. Currently I am working freelance and it is alright, but I only produce content, nothing substantial or meaningful. I want to write things that have meaning for me. Some of those things often include books I have read and loved, movies I have watched and enjoyed, and yes, even clothes I have worn and felt confident in. My blog, as the name has long suggested, is a review. A review of the importance of finding beauty and meaning.
Much of what I do here will probably be involved with media because outside of family and work that is what I have the most exposure to. In my humble, completely unimportant opinion, good media can be hard to find today with so much garbage circulating. I hope, in some small way, to make the search a little easier for those who have similar tastes to my own. That may prove to be exactly no one at all, but in the end I want to look back on this blog and see good things posted here. Things I am proud of. Things that show who I am and what I love. Wish me luck!