I can't even really remember much of this chubby, non-walking, non-talking Littleman. It seems a lifetime ago he was so small, so helpless and so thoroughly reliant upon me. Yet it has only been one year. I am in awe of how much has changed in the last 12 months; not only his changes and growth, but mine as well. We have grown so close as a family. He is so much a part of my life that I swear everything revolves around him. He is the new sun to my solar system. I love him so much and so deeply, like nothing I ever knew I could feel.
Even so, I can feel the pulling away. With every new word he learns and running, skippy-step he takes he is becoming more and more independent. He is needing me less and less and bits of my heart are tearing away. To top it off, this week I am leaving for a four day camping trip, my first four days away from this guy. Just writing it strikes me with a pang of loneliness. I know it will be a good thing in the end, but man it is rough. Four days of no diapers, clingy hands, whinny needs, but also no smiles, laughs, and lighting eyes. It's only four days, but FOUR WHOLE DAYS!
The ups and downs of being a mom, no wonder women get so moody. It is a hard, wonderful job. The most fulfilling role I will ever fill and I am so grateful for the chance to be given this mighty responsibility.
And to my Littleman--I will miss you terribly, I will think about you all the time, and I will be loving you for forever. I hope this week goes by quickly. I pray you will not grow up too much while I am away. You are the end of my earth and heaven. You are mine, always.
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